Mid-life crisis

finally realise what i have been feeling...they call it mid-life crisis. It is at a stage where you have achieved some success and you should be feeling satisfied but instead, you are left wondering whether you really want to do this for the rest of your life..what is it that i want to achieve that would be long-lasting..at this moment, i don't think i am looking for accummulation of wealth, but rather, what i can do that would leave a mark when i am long gone...would i be able to face my Maker, give an account of my life? or would i be ashamed of how i have used my life and talents? It is time to shift from success to significance....

Stephen Covey says in his book, The 8th Habit,
When you engage in work that taps your talent
that fuels your passion
that rises out of a great need in the world
that you feel drawn by conscience to meet
therein lies your voice
your calling
your soul's code

thinking about making new year resolutions

shall i even try to think about new year resolutions? surely it is going to be a waste of time. everyone has gone down the isle of new year, all fired up about their resolutions only to forget all about it a few weeks later. But not making resolutions is like giving up on 'me'.
Seriously, it is time to consider what do i really want from my life as a teacher and where i am heading. If we want to get somewhere, but don't know where or don't know what we want or what we do best, we are going to end up nowhere. And I don't want to look back and regret...
Norman Vincent Pearle, in his anthology, Courage and Confidence says
You must fix on a goal, then sharpen and clarify it. Hold it in your conscious mind until it sinks by a process of intellectual and spiritual osmosis into your subconscious. Then, you will have it because it will have you, all of you. You will begin to move toward that goal on a direct road; not a vague 'somewhere', but to a definitive, specific objective. To this must be added enthusiasm, persistence, and hard work.

Life is short

Hubby called and told me that Mr Cheng, his computer expert, has passed away after a heart attack. He was only 43. I saw him last when he came to my home to fix the internet lines. He had spent the whole day with us. Difficult to imagine that i will never see him again. Hubby has lost two colleagues this year due to heart attack, both in their early forties. Leaving behind wife and young children to fend for themselves. To think that sometimes we spend our time arguing and fighting over trivial things, knowing that we might not see each other again. Life is indeed short. What did I learn? Don't postpone your happiness...don't postpone the things you want to say to each other or to your loved ones...don't put off the things you really want to do, thinking that you would pursue it when you retire, when the kids are bigger, when the kids have finished their education, when......

freedom at last

today i finally finished marking the trial exam papers. when you know you have time, you tend to dilly dally. a friend asked me whether i had finished and that she had only a few more scripts !i took it as a challenge and immediately launched into attack mode...pressed the button at 4pm and finally finished at 12 midnight. first thing in the morning, i entered the marks online and i am free at last, ...well at least till the next exam, pmr is around the corner.till then i have a month of bliss....

Time for a break

The holidays are here but the poor teachers and children are still going to school for extra classes. Holidays are for fun, relaxation and basically, doing nothing in particular but taking a break from routine, from school, and for doing things you never got around to doing because of school. We must be careful we do not pluck our students' childhood from them. They need to play, hang out with their friends, catch up with their studies, etc and miss school again.
For teachers, we will be busy marking the mid-year exams esp those holding examination classes in the upper forms. If one teaches 5 classes, there will be more 200 essays, and summary to correct. But I would schedule some fun time, relaxing in my garden, recuperating, dreaming and recharging myself to come back for the second half of the year. Happy Holidays everyone!

Getting organised or getting hooked to getting organised

Is it possible that I am so absorbed in learning how to be organised that I have neglected to get organised. All I do is read and download stuff about getting things done but with little time left to do any cleaning up.....sigh...I downloaded diy planners, really good ideas but i don't know whether i am ever going to follow all that.

Yesterday, I spent hours looking at various websites on getting organised until my computer went kaput....so sad...just sent the laptop to the shop. now, i feel as if i am without my right arm or something...i miss my stuff in the laptop. i hope i will be able to get it back soon.

Calling it a day at 60?

Recently we read that CUEPACS is requesting that civil servants serve till they are 60 before they retire. As for many teachers like me, most of us will not be signing for 60. It is not that we hate teaching, we love going into class, moulding them, preparing them for exams, and most of all, we get to inspire, change and move them to do something with their lives. But, it is the daily grind of paperwork that we hate. And the endless meetings and projects to do. All these projects are unnecessary and time-consuming. Worse, they even call us back on Saturdays and holidays. Civil servants are supposed to have Saturdays off, but teachers are required to work on Saturdays and schools is given the discretion to use Saturdays to complete co-curricular activities. Teachers are tired and there is no time for self-renewal. We don't even have time for preparation of materials. Chunks of exercises and essays await us daily. I am not surprised many will opt to retire at 56.

Gems of truth

It's been a while since i last wrote on this blog. I heard something worthwhile the last few days that I need to jot it down:

Bigger things don't make us happy. Happiness is not a destination.
People who are suffering from happiness destination tend to put off their happiness till they have achieved or got something...and they continue to strive even though they have finally arrived, they are still not happy.
One has to decide to be happy in one's inner being, no matter what the circumstances.