the way i see it

growing old

2011-10-17T00:26:00.000-07:00

You know you are getting old when:

1 the pump attendant or the salesgirl call you 'auntie'
2 you keep losing your things and you have no idea or memory of what had happened
3 you keep repeating the same old story to the same people
4 you walk into the hip little boutiques and the young girls stare at you
5 it gets harder and harder to recover from sicknesses
6 you cannot remember your students' names

It's time to say 'goodbye'....

2010-11-07T15:10:00.001-08:00

After two(some of you, three) long years of sweat, blood, tears and laughter, it is time to release my 'baby turtles' to the sea..
Firstly, I want to thank each and everyone of you in 5 Zuhrah, for allowing me to come into your life, to share your ups and downs...thank you also for listening to my 'two-cents' worth of advice, thanks for listening to my nonsense too and laughing at the correct moments. Through my years with you, I have also grown (older), learn and unlearn and overall, tried to be a better teacher.
I will remember.......

Prevena, the ever vigilant and hardworking one, thanks for your help in running the English Society and all the other little projects.
Patrick, another gem of the class, who is never tardy in helping teachers, thanks for your support.
Yih Soon, the quiet one who will one day blossom into all you are meant to be, thanks for being you and for always trying to improve...
Syifa, another talented one, I marvel at how you have grown, both in English as well as in maturity and I hope you will continue to stay open-minded and be strong at whatever life throws at you....you gonna make it....
Thamayanthy, the ever hardworking and determined gem....who smiles sweetly even if she disagrees with me...hee hee...
Kit Yin, another sweet and fun girl...your determination will get you to the top
Saidatul, the ever sweet talented and helpful girl who is just waiting to be free.....
Najihah, the helpful one who can be very sensible sometimes but sometimes...
Izzatul, the thoughtful one who has a lot to say but never got around to voicing it in class, I hear you and Iunderstand...
Hidayah, the newbie who quickly adjusted to life in DZ...
Hannah, the one who has 'verbal diarrhoea' all the time...thanks for being part of us even tho you drive us up the wall at times....
amirah zul, so glad you are back and well again...
maizatul, lacking in confidence sometimes but never lacking in ideas and ambitions...
hafiz, the handsome one who drives the girls crazy....i am glad you got over your shyness
amir, the ever-smiling, obliging one....don't worry about the grammar, keep trying...
syami....the catching-up one....sorry for coming after you all the time, if only you were around more...
syamira, the faithful monitor, quiet and unassuming but ever-talented....will miss your quiet strength and support
amalina, the unassuming and gentle friend, and asni, the sweet athlete, you have been great supporters
rubaa , the obliging and sweet thing, be more confident and have faith that you are going to make it...
manimala, your humility will take you far, and you will make a good teacher if you ever want it...
khoasheliya....what can i say? sorry for making you the butt of my jokes sometimes, but you took it all in stride...it has been great to see you grow and change into a lovely young woman...
sharmini, you have tried hard to belong and i think you have succeeded...work hard
amira rahim, get healthy and work hard, husna, your quiet and unassuming ways are not a weakness but a strength....
khairani and effa, the ever sweet and obliging ones....work harder and be more focussed...
and zulaikha...to think that you could not write well in form 3 and now, look at you...how you have grown....

To all of you, thank you and i am sure we will meet again....be strong and 'carpe diem'..

GLOBAL CITIZEN DAY by Form Three students

2010-11-01T01:55:00.001-07:00

After two weeks of hard work, the Form Three students successfully staged their exhibition, Global Citizen Day.... It started out as just an idea to keep the students coming back to school after PMR but it has blossomed into something very meaningful and beneficial to the students....
The students have to do research on their own, write their brochures, prepare their speech, do their materials and decorations, daily at school. They learn to cooperate, to be daring, to try new things, and to be creative....

I reproduce some of the happening photos here....

visitors from SMKA, 30 of them....

the crew who made it all happened...thanks guys for the hard work, sweat and tears..

some visitors to our booths...

My friends from Khir Jo, Puan Zalina and SMKA, Pn Rozita

trying out the games....snake and ladder on foot.

numerology...what is your lucky colour????

guess the name of the songs???

your favourite ghost.........

body boggle...say it with your body...

one more frightening ghost...

having fun with snake and ladder....

It's all in the mind!

2010-09-05T18:34:00.000-07:00

Watching the US Open has reminded me again of the important lesson that I have learnt which I never got around to writing about it. When a player is winning, the body language is positive. Obviously, he is happy about his performance and his mind is urging him on. He would be the first to sprint out from his seat after a break. But when he is losing, perhaps one set down, facing a breakpoint, one look at his body language will let you know the state of his mind. His face looks resigned even though he knows he should not give up....shoulders are down, walks slowly out onto the court and starts having conversation with himself..or starts cursing or swearing at the crowd or himself. His coach and supporters are yelling 'come on' but his face tells everyone he is in trouble..
Basically, the difference between the top players and the thousands of wannabes is not the skills..most qualifiers can beat any seeded player on a good day..It is all in the mind...Watch when a qualifier is winning and having to serve the last set to take the match, all of a sudden, he starts to crumble...he suddenly realises the enormous thing he is about to do and his mind starts to go haywire...Notice the difference in a great champion like Roger Federer..when he is losing, he tries to stay positive, change a few things, tries something new and take it one point at a time. He keeps telling himself to stay positive and when the opportunity strikes, he would be ready to grab it and fight back...It is all in the mind...
We can learn a lot from tennis or any other sports. You cannot get to the top or be successful in what you do unless you are willing to train yourself mentally.
When I was asked to play squash for my college, I was a little afraid as I only knew badminton, tennis and ping pong. The opponent thrashed me 7-0 in the first set. The spectators were so quiet. I told myself that I got nothing to lose since everyone knows that I was going to lose anyway. So, I started hitting harder, served big shots and that surprised her. The crowd started cheering and that encouraged me to beat her. In the third match, I was beginning to tire but I saw she was also struggling and I hung in there mentally....I won and my college became the champion too.
In another ping pong competition, I was partnering a national player in the university championship. However, we were playing against the top national doubles pair from USM...I was serving for the match in the championship and if we won, my team would be going to Bangkok..my hands shook and I thot, maybe this was not going to work..I served into the net and there was a loud sigh....Luckily, we managed to get back the service and eventually, I managed to get a hold of myself and served it out. My partner smashed her way through...the crowd got wild and we all hugged each
other....Sweet memories.

I have always been an underdog in most of my life..not really good in studies nor popular with the guys as I was not pretty enough...Yet, having discovered my talents in games and music, I had become stronger and more positive...

And this is the same with life...if we cave in during difficult times, choosing to do what is easier, or choosing to run away or escape...we cannot be successful in what we do. It is easier to give up then to rough it out. It is easier to watch TV instead of reading or tackling our assignments or studies. It is easier to hang out with friends then sit on our table alone and write that book. Tough times will always come and go, but the ones who are successful are those that are strong mentally, and hang in there...I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me (phil 4:13)...It is all in the mind.

Of pain, prayers and doing His will

2010-06-07T01:32:00.000-07:00

I was reading my prayer journal and something struck me. A year ago, at a very dark and frustrating period of my life, I had asked God what He wanted me to do. What can I do that would be inspiring and helpful to others? Little did I know that He would spark this fire in me to start the library and now that it is a success, I cannot help but be amazed at His power and touch. I am also amazed at the way I feel about community work. A few years ago, if someone were to ask me to do it, I would not have been ready to commit because I had too much personal hurdles and dreams. Yet, when God calls, He would also give you the strength to do it. When we submit to His will, He is able to use us in a powerful way. And you would enjoy every minute of it knowing that you are in His will. I am not saying that there were no heartaches in setting up of the library. There are many hurdles to cross but God just eases it along the way,the right people to donate, the right books, the right members...the right time....

A year ago, I also gave to God my broken dreams. Having applied for Guru Cemerlang for a few times and failed due to one thing or another, I was at the end of the rope, hanging on for dear life. Having won so many awards and done so many things, what else do I need to do? Everyone was also disappointed. A stint as the acting Head of Dept also did not materialise into anything. Truly a dark and disappointing time. My friends sympathised with me, some look upon me as a victim of the system, of biasness. Dare I asked what was God thinking? I had to regroup, rethink about my career and get new directions from God. I told the Lord that if it is not for me, then He would just have to help me move on and continue to do what I do best. It finally dawned on me that all things work together for good to them that love God (Rom 8:28) and it meant that my disappointments are meant for my good. It will work out. I finally told Him that it is okay with me if I do not get my promotions. But, I told Him that I still would want to be able to share with other teachers and people, to do what I am good at. At that time, I did not know that He would provide me with plenty of opportunities to run courses again in 2010. He is truly amazing. Offers to speak and run courses continue to flow, till I have to say 'no'. And the most amazing thing is, I have the peace that passes all understanding. A year ago, I was struggling and kicking, today, I am resting in my Saviour's arms, knowing that He has my future in His hands and I do not need to be afraid. What can man do to me?

Library is launched

2010-05-03T06:48:00.000-07:00

After months of praying, working and dreaming of the impossible, the mini library was launched on 24.4.2010 with the help of my friends. For 15 years, the people of Slim River did not have any library. We make do with whatever we have in the school library which was often filled with old and useless books. As an English teacher, I personally have invested in a lot of books for my children as well as my students. So, I always dreamed of having my own reading room where my students could hang out, read the latest New York bestsellers or just simply a place to go to see me if they wanted to. Finally, the venue was provided by Tadika ST Paul and the seed was sown. We have 30 members from schools and kindergarten and more to come...I need more books for the Indian children.
During the launch, I had organised a colouring contest for the children. A total of 63 children turned up in full force. 25 signed up as members, paying RM10 as library fee for a year. I plan to organise English camps and reading classes in the future.
I want to thank all the parents who have donated their books, the kindergarten teachers for their help and my students who came to support this project.

Getting over disappointments

2010-03-08T02:10:00.000-08:00

Some of us get so deeply hurt and disappointed at some point of our lives. Some manage to snap out of it after a mourning period but some carry the hurt for years. Just a mention of the incident, a song, some words can trigger a flood of tears. How do you help a person let go of that hurt? Maybe some of us hang on to the pain and hurt because once you take that away, we may have to take action and face our fears...It is easier to sit back and play the victim..it is almost like a wound which is about to heal, a bit itchy and you need to scratch it and it bleeds again...a vicious cycle..it never gets heal.
Last week I shared in church about being an overcomer. You got to have faith in God to help you rise above your difficult circumstances. Yes, it is painful. Yes, that person who hurt you was wrong but you have to come out of that hole. In Hebrews, it says that for without faith, it is impossible to please God. That is the way He works. He sees and rewards our faith.
Then, you got to have hope. Jeremiah 29:11 says that 'For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, to give you a future and a hope....' Know that whatever problems and difficulties you are facing is only a transition. This too shall pass. Have hope that you will come out of this.
Lastly, you got to have love. Stop being a burden to others with your self-pity. After the mourning period, you got to snap out of it. Be a blessing instead of being a bitter person, making everyone around you miserable as well. Show love and you find that before long, your situation will improve.
1 Cor 13:13 says three things remain, faith, hope and love and of these, love is the greatest.

Trainer's thots

2010-03-04T02:20:00.000-08:00

Stephen Covey says in his book, The 8th Habit, 'When you engage in work that taps your talent, that fuels your passion that rises out of a great need in the world that you feel drawn by conscience to meet, therein lies your voice , your calling , your soul's code'.
That is what I did today...training a group of English teachers who are also panel head themselves. I enjoyed every minute of it...I would not say that the training ran smoothly..There were lots of hiccups but we managed to overcome the shortcomings...and even though I felt so tired and worn out, I know that this is where I long to be and this is what I long to do. This is my calling and this is what I do best. And although i am not financially richer, i come out a better person, knowing that i have enriched someone's life, perhaps, even motivate and change someone's life.

Who are the just?

2009-10-29T06:54:00.001-07:00

They are the ones who:

Wait for God (Isaiah 33.2; Micah 7.7-9)
Hope in God (Psalm 69.6; 71.5, 14; 146.5)
Seek after God (Psalm 69.6; 32)
Trust in God (Psalm 71.5; 143.8)
Know Yahweh and fear Him (Psalm 36.10; Psalm 103)
Love God’s Name (Psalm 69.36)
Cry out to God when distressed (Psalm 35; 140)
Have God as their sole refuge and fortress (Psalm 5; 14; 52; 71; 143)
Bow before His judgments (Psalm 94; 118)
Acknowledge their sin and offer Him a broken spirit and a contrite heart (Psalm 32; Psalm 51)

Let God Bring Justice into Your Life

2009-10-29T06:34:00.000-07:00

Let God Bring Justice into Your Life
By Joel Osteen

God has promised if we will put our trust in Him, He will pay us back for all the unfair things that have happened to us. Maybe you were cheated in a business deal and you lost a lot of money. Maybe somebody lied about you, and that misinformation kept you from getting a promotion. Or maybe a good friend betrayed you.

Certainly, these kinds of losses leave indelible scars, causing you to want to hold on to your grief. It would be logical for you to seek revenge. Many people would even encourage you to do so. The slogan “Don’t get mad, get even!” is a commonly accepted principle in America today.

But that is not God’s plan for you. If you want to live your best life now, you must learn to trust God to bring about the justice in your life. The Bible says, “God is a just God and He will settle and solve the cases of His people.” That means you don’t have to go around trying to pay everybody back for the wrong things they’ve done to you. You don’t have to go around trying to get even with people. God is your vindicator. You need to start letting God fight your battles for you. Let God settle your cases. God has promised if you’ll turn matters over to Him and let Him handle them His way, He’ll make your wrongs right. He’ll bring justice into your life.

Somebody in your life may not be treating you right. They may be saying things about you that aren’t true, spreading vicious rumors, telling lies, trying to ruin your reputation, if you’re like most people, you are probably tempted to get in there and set the record straight. And you are probably tempted to let them have it!

It takes faith to believe that God wants to vindicate you, but He really does. Don’t make the mistake of sinking down to your offenders’ level, getting into arguments and fighting. That will just make matters worse. Leave it up to God. Take the high road, respond in love, and watch what God will do. If you will do it God’s way, He’ll not only fight your battles for you, but in the end, you’ll come out better off than you were before.

God Keeps Good Records

Sometimes God allows us to go through certain things to test us. If you have somebody in your life right now who is not treating you right, that situation may very well be a test of your faith. God is interested in seeing how you are going to respond. Will you become negative, bitter, or angry? Are you going to develop a vindictive attitude, always trying to pay people back? Or, are you going to turn it over to God, trusting Him to make the wrongs right? Are you going to pass that test so God can promote you?

Maybe your boss isn’t treating you right. You’re doing all the work, but it seems that you’re not getting any of the credit. Everybody else gets promoted in the company except you. You may be tempted to mope around with a sour attitude, with a poor-old-me mentality.

Instead, you need to keep a good attitude and start trusting God to make it up to you. You must understand, you are not working merely for that person. You are not employed merely by that company. You are working for God! And God sees every wrong that’s being done to you. God is keeping good records. He’s closely watching your situation, and He said that He’s going to pay you back. And friend, when God pays back, He always pays back in abundance.

When God wants you to be promoted, it doesn’t matter whether your boss likes you or not; your future is not dependent on what your boss does or doesn’t do. God is in control. The Bible says that promotion doesn’t come from the north, south, east, or west. In other words, promotion doesn’t come from your boss, your supervisor, or your company. No, true promotion comes from Almighty God. And when God says it is time for you to advance up the ladder, all the forces of darkness cannot hold you down. You will be promoted.

Moreover, God will not allow somebody to continually mistreat you. If you will do your part, keep a good attitude, and turn your circumstances over to Him, sooner or later God will bring justice into your life. Sometimes when we don’t see anything happening month after month, maybe even year after year, it’s tempting to become manipulative, to attempt to make things happen on our own. When we do that, we risk interfering with God’s plans and purposes, creating another mess for Him to clean up, and possibly even keeping God from doing what He really wants to do in that situation.“

But Joel, everybody is getting so far ahead of me,” Darla lamented.

“When is it going to be my turn? All my friends are getting married; everybody I graduated with is making big money and living comfortably; everybody is being promoted in my company except me.

You may have concerns similar to Darla’s, but understand, God is a supernatural God. One touch of His favor can make up any lost ground, plus give you so much more. One touch of God’s favor can bring the right person into your life or put you in charge of that entire organization.

I met a man not long ago who worked as a mechanic at a large diesel-truck shop where they serviced 18-wheelers. He told me that for many years he was not treated properly at his place of employment. It was an extremely negative environment, and his coworkers often made fun of him because he wouldn’t go out and party with them after work. Year after year, he put up with all sorts of injustice and ridicule. He was one of the best mechanics on staff, consistently one of their top producers, but for seven years, he never received a pay raise, he didn’t get a bonus, he didn’t get any sort of increase—because his supervisor didn’t like him.

That mechanic could have grown bitter. He could have quit and found work elsewhere; he could have developed a chip on his shoulder and gotten mad at the world. But instead, he continued to do his best. He worked hard and kept his mouth shut, knowing that God was his vindicator. He wasn’t working to please his supervisor; he was working to please God.

One day, out of the blue, the owner of the company called him. This owner wasn’t involved in the day-to-day operations, so the mechanic had never before met him. But the owner told him that he was ready to retire, and he was looking for somebody to take over the business. “I’d like you to have it,” the owner said to the mechanic.

“You know, sir, I’d love to have it,” said the mechanic, “but I don’t have enough money to buy your business.”

“No, you don’t understand,” replied the owner. “You don’t need the money I have money. I’m looking for somebody to take over the business. I’m looking for someone I can trust to continue the work I have started. I want to give it to you.

Today, the mechanic owns that company free and clear!

During our conversation, I asked him, “What caused that owner to call you?”

He said, “Joel, to this day I don’t know how he got my name. I don’t know why he chose me. All I know is that almost overnight, I went from being the lowest man on the totem pole to the person in charge of the whole company!” He laughed and said, “You know, Joel, they don’t make fun of me in the shop anymore.

Friend, that is a good example of God bringing justice into that man’s life. That’s God paying him back for all those wrongs. God settled his case. God made his wrongs right. And God wants to do the same sort of thing for you.

You may say, “Joel, that sounds kind of far out to me.

Understand, we serve a God who wants to do more than you can ask or think, it doesn’t matter how people are treating you. Keep doing the right thing; don’t get offended; don’t let them get you upset; don’t try to pay them back, returning evil for evil.

Instead, keep extending forgiveness; keep responding in love. If you do that, then when it comes time for you to be promoted, God will make sure it happens. He’ll make sure you get everything you deserve, and more!

Turn it over to God

The key is, you must turn it over to God. Let Him do it His way. The Scripture says, “Never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God’s] wrath.” Notice, if you try to pay people back, you are closing the door for God to do it. You can either do it God’s way, or you can do it your way. If you’re going to let God handle it, you can’t have the attitude of: I’m going to show them what I’m made of. That will prevent God from avenging you His way. If you want to keep that door open so God can bring true justice into your life, you have to totally turn it over to Him.

Somebody may be saying nasty things about you behind your back. Your attitude should be: No big deal. God’s got me covered. He’s going to make it up to me.

If somebody cheats you out of some money: No big deal. God’s promised me double. They don’t owe me anything. God, I’ll give it to them, because I know You can repay me with twice as much. I’m not going to worry about it; I release it right now.

If somebody invites all your friends out to dinner but they exclude you, your attitude should be: No big deal. God knows what I need. He will bring new friends into my life.

What a liberating way to live! When you truly understand that you don’t have to fix everything that happens to you, you don’t have to get all upset and try to pay somebody back for what they did or didn’t do. You don’t have to get worried or try to manipulate the situation. When you know that God is fighting your battles, and He has promised to make your wrongs right, you can walk with a new confidence, with a spring in your step, a smile on your face, and a song in your heart. You are free!

When you have that kind of attitude, you are leaving the door wide open for God to pay you back. And remember, God always pays back abundantly.

A few years ago, Victoria and I had somebody in our lives who really did us wrong in a business deal. This person didn’t keep his end of the bargain. He did some things that were questionable and ended up cheating us out of a lot of money.

Many times, Victoria and I were tempted to fight the battle in our own strength. We were tempted to want to pay him back and make his life miserable. After all, he made us suffer; why not make him suffer? It was difficult, but we had to force ourselves to do the right thing, which was to turn the matter over to God.

We said, “God, you see what’s happening. You know we’re being mistreated. You know that what this man is doing is wrong. But God, we’re not going to try to get even. We’re not going to try to avenge ourselves. We’re going to leave that door open, counting on You to make it up to us.

This process continued for several years, and we didn’t see any change. We had to keep reminding ourselves that God is a God of justice. God is going to pay us back for doing the right thing. God is going to settle our case.

One day, out of the clear blue, God supernaturally stepped in and turned that situation around. He not only moved that man out of our lives, but He paid us back in abundance for everything he had taken. Sadly, the man who tried to cheat us eventually lost his family, his business, his reputation - everything. And I certainly don’t wish that on anybody, but that, too, is the justice of God. You cannot go around continually doing wrong, cheating people, and sowing bad seeds and not expect it to eventually catch up to you. We will reap exactly what we’ve sown.

Victoria and I were recently discussing how much God has paid us back. I don’t say it arrogantly, but God has blessed us abundantly. He has prospered us through several real estate deals so we live in a lovely home and have all the material things we need. He’s blessed us with wonderful children and a fantastic extended family. He’s promoted us and given us positions of leadership. He’s done more than we can ask or think. But had we not learned how to pass those kinds of tests, I really don’t believe we’d be where we are today. If we had been stubborn and fought with the man who was doing us wrong, or if we had become bitter and angry, or held resentment in our hearts toward that man, God would not have promoted us.

If you will leave your situation up to God, in the end you’ll come out much better off. You will be far ahead of where you would have been had you tried to solve matters in your own strength. God can truly bring justice into our lives.

Maybe you’ve been working through a situation and you’ve been doing the right thing for a long time. You’ve been taking the high road and forgiving somebody again and again. You keep overlooking their faults. You keep biting your tongue when they are rude to you. You have kept a good attitude even though they have mistreated you. Perhaps this has been going on month after month, maybe year after year, and now you’re tempted to get discouraged. You’re wondering, Is God ever going to change this situation? Is God ever going to bring about justice? Does He even care about what I’m going through?

Don’t give up! Keep doing the right thing. God is building character in you, and you are passing that test. Remember, the greater the struggle, the greater the reward.

The Scripture says, “Don’t get tired of doing what’s right for in due season you shall reap if you don’t faint.” Don’t grow weary; God will bring justice into your life.

We must trust God to bring justice in His timing, not ours. Sometimes, it doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes you’re going to have to love somebody who’s unlovable for a long period of time. Sometimes you’re going to have to do the right thing when the wrong thing is happening to you, and it may be a long time before you see any kind of change. It may require a strong will on your part, and a determination to trust despite the odds.

When David was just a young man, he was anointed by the prophet Samuel to be the next king of Israel. Not long after that, he defeated the giant Goliath, and he became an instant hero throughout the land. People loved him, and his popularity ratings soared off the charts. But King Saul, Israel’s ruler at the time, became extremely jealous of David and started doing all sorts of unfair things to David.

Sometimes Saul would get sick, and David would play his harp for the king, soothing his mind and helping Saul to feel better. But one day as David was playing the harp for him, Saul suddenly picked up his spear and hurled it at David! The spear barely missed him. David ran out of the room, fearing for his life. When he realized that Saul was trying to kill him, he fled to the mountains to hide. He had to live on the run, going from cave to cave, month after month.

Think of it. David hadn’t done anything wrong. He had treated Saul with respect and honor, yet Saul turned around and paid him back by attempting to kill him. Don’t you know David could easily have been bitter? He could have easily said, “God, why is this guy trying to hurt me? I didn’t do anything to him. God, I thought You chose me to be king. What’s going on here?”

But David didn’t do that. He kept a good attitude, refusing to hurt Saul, even when he had the opportunity. Although Saul wasn’t treating him right, David still respected Saul’s position of authority.

Somebody in your life who has authority over you — a boss, a supervisor, a parent, or somebody in a position of leadership—may be treating you unfairly. You know that what they are doing is wrong, and they probably know it, too. Consequently, you may be tempted to treat that person with disdain or disrespect. It’s easy to rationalize or justify a wrong attitude toward that person. After all, My boss is rude. He’s ungodly. I don’t have to treat him respectfully. Or, My parents argue and fight all the time. I’m not going to obey them. Or, My spouse doesn’t go to church with me. How am I supposed to respect a person like that?

The truth is, whether that person is behaving correctly or not, God expects us to honor his or her position of authority. Don’t make excuses and try to justify in your mind why you are free to speak or act disrespectfully toward that person. If you refuse to live under authority, God will never promote you to a position of greater authority

It’s easy to respect those in positions of authority as long as they are being kind to us or when we agree with that person. But the true test comes when you get a “Saul” in your life, when somebody treats you unfairly for no apparent reason.

Like David, many people today have been chosen by God to do something great. God wants to place them in positions of honor, positions of leadership, but for some reason they don’t ever pass the test. Instead of trusting God, they’re always trying to manipulate circumstances, to bring justice on their own. Instead of just letting offenses go, forgiving the offender and trusting God to make the wrongs right, they’re always trying to pay back the “Sauls” in their lives. But there is a better way.

Back in the late 1950s, my dad had everything in the world going for him. He was a successful pastor of a thriving church in Houston, and the congregation had just built a big, beautiful new building. Daddy was on the state board for his denomination, and everyone regarded John Osteen as a rising leader, on the way up in the hierarchy of the church. But in 1958, Daddy developed a desire to delve more deeply into the things of God. He wasn’t satisfied to grow stagnant in his spiritual journeys, and he didn’t want the church to become complacent either.

As Daddy studied the Scriptures, he realized that God wanted to do more for His people than what most folks were accustomed to receiving. Daddy was excited about what he was learning from the Bible, and he began to share his insights with the church. He told the congregation that he saw more clearly that God was a good God, a heavenly Father, rather than a demanding, impossible-to-please judge. Daddy taught the people that God wanted them to be happy, healthy, and whole, and he began to pray for people who were sick or otherwise in need.

Much to my dad’s surprise, many of the people in that congregation didn’t appreciate his fresh discoveries. They were steeped in their traditions, and because Daddy’s enthusiastic, fiery messages weren’t exactly what they were used to hearing, it made some of them uncomfortable. Even though Daddy was teaching them right out of the Bible, they were upset that the supernatural God Daddy described didn’t fit into their denominational guidelines.

The congregation took a vote to see whether they wanted Daddy to stay or to leave. When the ballots were all counted, Daddy had plenty of votes to stay, but during the next few months some of the people treated him so badly and were so disrespectful to him that he knew the best thing he could do for the church was to just move on. Naturally, he was disappointed and heartbroken. He had poured his heart and soul into that place, and now he would have to start all over again.

It wasn’t fair; it wasn’t right. The congregation didn’t treat him as he deserved, and Daddy could have easily left there bitter. He could have harbored anger and resentment in his heart toward some of those people. But Daddy let those hard feelings go. His attitude was: God, I know You’re going to make this up to me. I know You will prosper me wherever I go, and You will bring about justice in my life.

Daddy made the decision that he was going to go with God, and in 1959, he left the safety and security of that large, established church, and he went down the road to a small, run-down, abandoned feed store called East Houston Feed & Hardware. It was a beat—up, dirty building with holes in the floor. But Daddy and approximately ninety other people cleaned it up, and on Mother’s Day they started what they called “Lakewood Church.”

The critics said, It’s never going to last, John. You don’t have a chance. Nobody will come.” They said, “It’s going to blow over.”

Sure enough, it did. It blew over the whole city! Today, it’s blowing over the entire world! More than forty-five years later, Lakewood Church is still going strong, still seeing God’s miracles, blessings, and favor, still touching people all over the world.

God knows how to bring justice into your life as well. If you will leave your concerns in God’s hands, He will settle your cases. He will make your wrongs right. He’s promised to take that evil and turn it around and use it to your advantage. It doesn’t matter how badly somebody has hurt you, or how far their actions or words have set you back, God can turn that situation around and make it all up to you, plus much more!

Leave it to God. Live a life of forgiveness. Don’t go around trying to pay people back, trying to get revenge. God sees every wrong that’s being done to you. God sees every person that’s ever hurt you. He’s keeping the record, and the Scripture says if you don’t avenge yourself, God will pay you back. And friend, He’ll not only pay you back, He’ll pay you hack in abundance

Decluttering Day

2009-10-23T06:07:00.000-07:00

Things I did today

1 Cleared the things in the car, parking tickets, bills, pens, papers, etc
2 repaired some old shoes, glued some parts
3 bathed the dog
4 washed the clothes
5 swept the room
6 got the stationery ready into a new pencil case for my next assignment
7 got my file ready with letters for pmr
8 cleared the rubbish
9 watered the plants
10 cleaned the kitchen

so, what am i going to do with my aching feet????

Holiday De-cluttering

2009-08-28T23:26:00.000-07:00

Just came back after a 5-day break in peaceful Taiping. Back to reality. Clothes not washed, dirty floor, cluttered tables and disorganized room....So, decided to attack each task first thing in the morning. Could not sleep thinking about all the work waiting for me. So, I put the clothes into the machine and while it chugged its way along, I re-organized my bathroom and room. Decided to change my bathroom shelf with my room shelf to make way for my handbags and other stuffs. Took the opportunity to throw some things and rearrange the stuff into containers. Then, came down to attack my table and sort out all the papers and files...Took nearly an hour to gather all my pens and stationery into one spot...Am surprised to find that I have so many red pens and I am still buying them..sigh..and I wonder whatever happened to the pen covers. I bet the floor swallowed them up each time it falls because i cannot recall sweeping away any. By this time, I realised it was almost noon and I haven't even taken a bite of real food except for a biscuit and coffee. Broke for lunch and my bones are screaming.....after five days of gardening and walking about, i am paying for it.

State Drama Competition 2009

2009-08-03T06:06:00.001-07:00

Congrats to DZ for representing Batang Padang in the state drama competition. I just want to say that I am very proud of them. It was not an easy climb. When we won the district, it was really difficult to raise the game. PPD wanted us to improve our act, make it longer and etc but we were short of money. Luckily, our principal gladly approved some funds for us and we managed to make some more props. Then, some members wanted to quit as many teachers had scolded them for taking part. I told them that the teachers mean well as they were worried about their studies too. I had not wanted to take the exam classes as the actors but I had no choice as 4 Zuhrah was involved in science and maths fair as well as carnival. We also could not practice during school hours. Everything was done after school....So, I really salute the students and Mr Edmund for hanging in there even though we had so much self doubts...And to Jabar, who had to walk a few kilometres back home to Kg Balun, I salute thee
I must say that DZ rose to the occasion. Everyone did well even though there were many obstacles. Just before we went up stage, the computer would not start and the background could not be hung...i just whispered a prayer and voila...everything went on as we wanted...the computer started and we had our background , no one forgot their lines, timing was fantastic...the judges said that everyone spoke very well and they were very surprised...kampung school ma....
So, if anyone asked me whether it was worth it, I would say a thousand times, yes...cos if we did not try, we would never have known that we are right up there and we should have more self-believe. We always feel inferior when compared to Kinta and LMS but this time, we were right there as well....So, when I was told that we were the top four schools selected for consideration, I was ecstatic and I felt like crying.....for joy...
Never ever let anyone tell us that we are not good enough, people....DZ boleh!!!!!

The Climb

2009-07-30T07:11:00.000-07:00

The Climb by Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep tryin
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,
cause

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you're going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

Goodbye, MJ

2009-07-23T03:36:00.000-07:00

Finally, I am ready to let him go.....Michael Jackson and I grew up together...I connected with his songs way back when he was still with Jackson 5. Ben, I'll Be There....When I started strumming the guitar, it was his songs that became my favourites. Then, in my varsity days, he went solo and had so many hits. We would rushed to the common room just to watch him sing Beat It, all one hundred of us in the cramped room. Those days there were no MTV and every video clip was magic.
Later, when i got married, and had a son, he became my son's favourite singer too..That is how transcending he is and then, when the media became preoccupied with his 'weirdness', i sensed that he was just lost and very alone...Anyone could see that he was troubled but no one could help him...As I watch his videos again, I cannot fathom how someone so talented could be so unsure of himself. How someone so gifted could be so lost without his Maker.
I stayed up late to watch his memorial on tv. The minute Mariah Carey sang "You and I must make a pact.....' from 'I'll be there' the tears started and continued throughout the show. When Brooke Shields went up to give her farewell speech, I was sobbing too cos i could see that her friendship with him was genuine and special.

My cousin sent me a big box. In it, there is a CD of his greatest hits and a special issue of Time magazine on his life...there is more space for his memorabilia but none can ever replace the empty space he left behind....
May you finally rest in peace now

The Victim Trap

2009-07-07T02:43:00.001-07:00

My favourite author has this to say as a motivation....
The Victim Trap
Stephen Covey: Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness

Half of us spend time on urgent things—and not important things. It's like an urgency addiction: We need what we're doing to be pressing, or we feel guilty about it. But to succeed at change, you must become the creating force of your own life. That means instead of focusing on the urgent thing—it acts on you—you must focus on the important thing and making it happen—you act on it.

One habit that gets in the way of success is the victim mentality. I worked with Viktor Frankl, a Nazi prison camp survivor, for many years. His initial response at the hands of his captors was, Why do I have to suffer so? But later he began to change the question to, What is life asking of me? Each time he started to feel himself the victim, he would find someone suffering more and give half his meager rations to the person. His mantra became, "He who has a 'why' can live with any 'what' or live with any 'how.'"

I phoned Viktor before he passed away and told him how grateful I was for his life's work. He said, "Stephen, you talk to me as if I'm checking out." He was in the intensive care unit. He was blind. His wife was reading to him five hours a day. And yet he said he had two more projects he was trying to finish up.

Even if you feel like a victim of your circumstances and have no formal authority, try to create your own moral authority. Show that you have personal courage.

Being faithful in little things

2009-07-06T06:07:00.000-07:00

Was reminded today about Joseph's story in the Bible. Joseph is Jacob's favourite son. His ten older siblings were jealous of him. He was sold by his siblings to be an egyptian slave. Yet, he did not complain about his negative circumstances. Instead, he rose and shone and his talents made room for him. He could have given up as his situation was impossible. Yet, he chose to remain faithful, doing what he can and he soon found favour with his boss. Again, he met with unfavourable circumstances. His boss' wife became interested in him but he spurned her advances...she accused him of molesting her and her husband threw him into jail...yet, again, in jail, he found favour and the warden put him in charge of all the inmates. One day, his boss had a dream and only Joseph could interpret his dream..Later, his boss made him in charge of Egypt. When famine came, Joseph is the one who eventually saved his family. Joseph rose in power from slave to ruler of Egypt.He eventually saved a nation from the famine.
The lesson to be learnt from Joseph's life is what matters is not so much the events or circumstances of life but your response to them..Joseph did not ask God 'Why' but instead his attitude was 'What shall I do now?' He was very aware that God was with him all the way.

Farewell 4 Zuhrah

2009-06-22T03:33:00.001-07:00

Today, I have to say goodbye to my class, 4 Zuhrah, because of my added duties as acting Head of Dept for Languages. I was rather surprised at the emotions and outbursts by the class. I certainly did not expect that response....I didn't know I was that important to them...Although I feel a heavy heart, it is better than leaving the school entirely for another posting. I guess I can understand their feelings. It's not that I won't be seeing them entirely but it marks the beginning of the end of something we have created the past one and half years together. The memories of Form 3, the frantic preparations, the yelling, the emotional roller coasters of exams, the success, sweet success...Then, somehow, they have suddenly grown up overnight and as we meet again in Form 4, we now have a quiet understanding and they see the more relaxed side of me...And I see the trust in their eyes in my ability to guide them to success. And 2009 has been great thus far, the beautification of the classroom cum APD, the air-conditioners project which people deemed almost impossible...So, it is rather difficult to hand it all to someone else. Well, that's life. Sometimes, you have to leave behind some people and things and you have to move on. And sometimes, you never know you gonna miss someone till they are no longer there...Well, I certainly will not forget you all. Till we 'meet' again...

I stand in awe

2009-05-12T03:33:00.000-07:00

Joy is....
having tea with old friends, laughing over silly little things, feeling warmth and secure in their friendships, knowing that you are loved...

Pain is ....
when someone knocks the wind out of you repeatedly and you are powerless, you have no voice, only a cry deep down to the One above

Burden is ....
something which i cannot let go, to be reminded of my pain which I cannot release to the Almighty, insisting on carrying it around, taking it out now and then to nurse the wound

Prayer, is
"being cocooned with the very One that made me, knows me, and loves me, best, because He lives inside of me.....

having only to think, and in doing so, be not only heard, but understood, better than I could ever understand myself.....

a letting go of every care that threatens to hold my mind and heart captive, keeping me from really living my life as I should

Peace is
knowing that He will bring to fulfillment whatever He has planned for me IN HIS TIME...that no matter what anyone says or do, He alone is in control...even tho the storm may be raging, i will not be moved....

In memory of Jeffrey

2009-04-13T02:44:00.000-07:00

Jeffrey, my colleague passed away this morning. He had been hospitalised for a few days due to a brain tumour. Everyone is still in shock. He had been very busy the last week, chauffering the students to various events and competitions.
And he had always lived that way, very busy and so difficult to catch in school. Yet, he always managed to remember my little requests to get something from KL or the many times I asked him to photocopy my projects in the last minute. He had never turned us down, no matter how small the requests. He also helped me design all the covers of my project papers and journals without charging me anything. I often wondered how he could remember all those things we asked him to do when he has so much more important things to remember. He has so many businesses everywhere...but somehow, he always remembered to get things done for school. Sometimes, he would quietly pay for our makan in the canteen. I will never forget his generosity and help. And that's the way I would like to remember him...
Goodbye my friend...

Down memory lane

2009-03-24T04:03:00.000-07:00

This is the patio of the bungalow where I spend my evenings, just doing my work or reading. Sometimes we do some entertaining here...my friends love this part of the house and my plants. It is also the place where I spent with 9 dogs..all fighting to sit near me..of course, in the end, they would be all over me....those were happy times.

Yes, I had nine dogs at one time, sometimes more if Snoopy gave birth. They were just part of our lives. It was also necessary to keep them as I was living in the jungle and there were lots of baboons, monkeys, wild boars, snakes and more.

So, the next few entries would be stories about the dogs and their antics...the snake stories (every estate madam will have these), being a planter's wife and more......

Memories of a house

2009-03-22T00:07:00.000-07:00

This is the bungalow I had stayed for ten years in the estate. Although it is quite far away from civilisation, I had the best and worst times of my life....The next few blog entries would be about this place and the ten years I spent there. I am afraid that if I do not write about it, I might not remember it all or worse, I would not have time to do so....Who knows, one day, my grandchildren would be able to publish this some day....as Shakespeare said in Sonnet 18,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee ........

The bungalow is shaped like an aeroplane...the picture is only the head....the long body is actually the three rooms all lined in a row...the master bedroom is the last room. There is a long corridor where my sons used to ride their bicycles and later, learnt to skate...

The lilies in front of the house is my favourite because they give a lovely aroma in the evening. Around the lilies is where I do my jogging, on the days when I feel particularly fat.....we used to do twenty rounds...
The bungalow is situated on top of a hill, surrounded by a jungle, complete with a mini zoo...

Being Happy

2009-03-18T02:17:00.000-07:00

What makes me happiest in my life? I asked that question the whole weekend. I know that I am happiest when I am teaching and my students are learning. I am happy when they do well in the exam and most of all, their lives are changed or turned around because of me. I am most happy training other teachers and sharing with them what I have learnt or still struggling.Nothing gives me a high as in watching teachers face crack up when they identify with me or when they are so excited to try out what I have shared. I am most happy when I am performing whether it is in front of my students or teachers.
So, I would continue to do what makes me happiest. I do not have to wait till I have the necessary platform or power. I will do what I can in my small little world. And I will blog about this journey.

Pressure is a privilege...losing and winning

2009-03-06T18:12:00.000-08:00

this week has been rather trying. Joel has gone for his chess competition again, a do or die situation as the state wants to select six players out of eight and he is no. 8. So, he went there knowing well that it was going to be a tough week. Day 1, he calls home to tell me he had to play no.1 seed and he lost lamely. then, he sms to say he lost again in the afternoon. He said he didn't know how he was going to last the week. Mummy's heart bleeds for him but this was something he needed to do, to summon his courage and face the pressure...mummy could only beri semangat sikit and prayed. Day 2, called early in the morning to say he lost again...meaning that he was buried, with maybe just an arm hanging on for dear life... then, finally in the evening, he said he had won....oh, thank God for that win. He needed that.I knew he would have to crawl back up....Day 3, he called early in the morning to say that he had beaten his fellow teammate...a sigh of relief.....

This is what a mum has to go through....When they win, we win, we celebrate, when they lose, we feel bad for them...but that is all we can do....we provide support and we have to let them go and make their own mistakes, learn and unlearn, suffer the agony of defeat and celebrate the highs of triumph. We have to help them face defeat, not to put the blame on any one but to help them analyse and face reality. For if we start blaming people or situations, we give them a false sense of security and reality...and they will not learn.
We teach them not to give up, to hang on and fight. I always tell him, it ain't over until it's over. Do not give up halfway or even worse, to give up even before you start.
I also teach my students that pressure is a privilege...Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you meet various trials..because pressure produces true character if you do not give in... You learn to be patient, to come apart and regroup, stay calm and not give in to the panic and fear of failure...then, you begin to rise and see the difference...the power of positive thinking.
Teach this to any child, and you will see the difference it would make in his life.

Happiness is not a state of mind.....

2009-03-04T00:53:00.000-08:00

Happiness is not a state of mind but a choice. Today, instead of whining and complaining, I decided to look out for things that I could improve in school. The door of the staffroom was stuck with a lot of flyers, memos and announcements. Teachers will get stuck at the door, trying to read important announcements and notices. Besides, it was an eyesore. So, I suggested to my friend to shift the whole examination table to the back of the staffroom where there is already a big noticeboard. She immediately took to the idea and agreed to do the shifting while I went to class. When I came back, everything was completed and all notices neatly pinned on the new noticeboard. Everyone commented that it was a great idea. And I felt so happy having contributed something. How many people have commented on the eyesore but did not do anything.
Then another friend went home and turned up with a pot of laksa and stuff to eat. It was like the ball had started rolling and the joy was infectious.

my happiness project

2009-03-02T00:20:00.000-08:00

I have decided to put to test what i know all this while about happiness. So, I will record whatever I experienced over here. Last night was a tumultous night for me because I heard suddenly that I might not get what I wished, wanted, prayed for and struggled for. So, came the tears and the uncertainties. Cried my heart out to God. I asked hubby to pray for me because the sadness overwhelms me and my tears were choking me. Haven't i prayed about it all this while? Haven't there been signs for me to go ahead with plans? I was really confused and lost.
This morning, I decided to put to test one famous rule, the power of positive thinking. So, I read the verse, Isaiah 26:3 and reminded myself that He would keep him in perfect peace whose eyes is on Him. I reminded myself that this is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. I was determined to feed on His faithfulness. I wanted to believe in the laws of attraction. That if you think positively, you begin to attract positive things around you. And it worked. It's not that unpleasant things did not happen at all in school. First thing I arrived in school, boss called and asked me to get rid of rubbish all over the school after the sports. The first thing on my mind was 'Why me?' but I decided to be happy and just carried it out happily. I decided not to fret and complain. Then, my best friend called and she came over to school to have breakfast with me. We had a good time and I shared my troubles with her.
He knew I needed someone to talk. Then, later, someone donated 100 ringgit for my class fund.

Saying goodbye

2009-02-20T00:22:00.000-08:00

The day I dreaded had finally arrived. Jared was finally leaving for Brisbane. My first bird is leaving the nest for good. It has been such a long preparation. The application, sitting for IELTS, the waiting for the replies from the uni, choosing the uni, the accommodation...It was great to have him home again from college for a few months. My family felt complete with him around and I tried not to think of his leaving. But February 15 finally arrived and I had to let him go. It is every mom's agony to see her firstborn leaving her. I guess God had trained me to cut the apron strings one by one. First, it was the mini holiday camps, then, the long camp - the national service, then it was Inti college where I never heard from him for weeks. Then, the big one.
At the airport, his friend commented that I am very strong because I did not cry. Well, I have rehearsed it so many times so I can say goodbye very well by now....I was more worried about him travelling alone all the way and so I asked for assistance from the flight attendant...of course this means he would have someone to guide him all the way. I did not have any doubts that he would be okay...but it was just for my peace of mind.

On the way home, I was strangely quiet. I did not feel like talking. Hubby tried to keep a conversation going but I was giving him monosyllables. When we arrived at home, Jared had arrived in Singapore. He complained that they put him in a waiting room with a bunch of oldies who also asked for flight assistance.
Then the electricity went out and it was so hot. I could not sleep the whole night. The blackout had made hubby's snores even louder. ....
When he finally sms to say he had reached Brisbane, I was really relieved that the uni people were there to receive him. Really thankful that God had smoothen his journey all the way and there was no trouble with the custom, etc
I certainly hope and pray that he would take this opportunity to learn and earn his degree, grow and be the man that God wants him to be.....

De-stressing

2009-01-02T01:46:00.000-08:00

l love washing my hair in my favourite hair saloon. After a stressful day at school, there's nothing like letting your hair down and being given a good scrub or 'scratch'. I know we should not scratch the hair but, on a hot day, the dirty itchy scalp really needs a good scrub. And sometimes there's soft music (especially in professional hair saloons) in the background. Over at my saloon, there's just a small radio blaring away. If you are lucky like me, the saloon girl knows where to 'scratch' and how hard. And she would then proceed to give you a back rub or shoulder and neck massage...ahhhhh, you can feel all the tension slowly fading away. Of course, it should also be accompanied by a pleasant conversation for washing one's hair is so personal. Your hairdresser knows how to start small talk before proceeding to some other juicy gossips if you are close enough to her. Sometimes, when you are being pampered like that, you also tend to divulge some juicy information as well. Of course, there are also hairdressers like mine, who would always try to sell me something in the process...and strangely, i always am almost persuaded or i would always leave the saloon buying something. Yet i never feel cheated, as the whole process is really worth the RM8-10.

Mid-life crisis

2008-12-28T01:08:00.000-08:00

finally realise what i have been feeling...they call it mid-life crisis. It is at a stage where you have achieved some success and you should be feeling satisfied but instead, you are left wondering whether you really want to do this for the rest of your life..what is it that i want to achieve that would be long-lasting..at this moment, i don't think i am looking for accummulation of wealth, but rather, what i can do that would leave a mark when i am long gone...would i be able to face my Maker, give an account of my life? or would i be ashamed of how i have used my life and talents? It is time to shift from success to significance....

Stephen Covey says in his book, The 8th Habit,
When you engage in work that taps your talent
that fuels your passion
that rises out of a great need in the world
that you feel drawn by conscience to meet
therein lies your voice
your calling
your soul's code

thinking about making new year resolutions

2008-12-12T16:52:00.001-08:00

shall i even try to think about new year resolutions? surely it is going to be a waste of time. everyone has gone down the isle of new year, all fired up about their resolutions only to forget all about it a few weeks later. But not making resolutions is like giving up on 'me'.
Seriously, it is time to consider what do i really want from my life as a teacher and where i am heading. If we want to get somewhere, but don't know where or don't know what we want or what we do best, we are going to end up nowhere. And I don't want to look back and regret...
Norman Vincent Pearle, in his anthology, Courage and Confidence says
You must fix on a goal, then sharpen and clarify it. Hold it in your conscious mind until it sinks by a process of intellectual and spiritual osmosis into your subconscious. Then, you will have it because it will have you, all of you. You will begin to move toward that goal on a direct road; not a vague 'somewhere', but to a definitive, specific objective. To this must be added enthusiasm, persistence, and hard work.

Life is short

2008-12-11T17:50:00.000-08:00

Hubby called and told me that Mr Cheng, his computer expert, has passed away after a heart attack. He was only 43. I saw him last when he came to my home to fix the internet lines. He had spent the whole day with us. Difficult to imagine that i will never see him again. Hubby has lost two colleagues this year due to heart attack, both in their early forties. Leaving behind wife and young children to fend for themselves. To think that sometimes we spend our time arguing and fighting over trivial things, knowing that we might not see each other again. Life is indeed short. What did I learn? Don't postpone your happiness...don't postpone the things you want to say to each other or to your loved ones...don't put off the things you really want to do, thinking that you would pursue it when you retire, when the kids are bigger, when the kids have finished their education, when......

freedom at last

2008-09-23T00:56:00.000-07:00

today i finally finished marking the trial exam papers. when you know you have time, you tend to dilly dally. a friend asked me whether i had finished and that she had only a few more scripts !i took it as a challenge and immediately launched into attack mode...pressed the button at 4pm and finally finished at 12 midnight. first thing in the morning, i entered the marks online and i am free at last, ...well at least till the next exam, pmr is around the corner.till then i have a month of bliss....

Time for a break

2008-05-26T03:18:00.000-07:00

The holidays are here but the poor teachers and children are still going to school for extra classes. Holidays are for fun, relaxation and basically, doing nothing in particular but taking a break from routine, from school, and for doing things you never got around to doing because of school. We must be careful we do not pluck our students' childhood from them. They need to play, hang out with their friends, catch up with their studies, etc and miss school again.
For teachers, we will be busy marking the mid-year exams esp those holding examination classes in the upper forms. If one teaches 5 classes, there will be more 200 essays, and summary to correct. But I would schedule some fun time, relaxing in my garden, recuperating, dreaming and recharging myself to come back for the second half of the year. Happy Holidays everyone!

Getting organised or getting hooked to getting organised

2008-05-06T01:56:00.000-07:00

Is it possible that I am so absorbed in learning how to be organised that I have neglected to get organised. All I do is read and download stuff about getting things done but with little time left to do any cleaning up.....sigh...I downloaded diy planners, really good ideas but i don't know whether i am ever going to follow all that.

Yesterday, I spent hours looking at various websites on getting organised until my computer went kaput....so sad...just sent the laptop to the shop. now, i feel as if i am without my right arm or something...i miss my stuff in the laptop. i hope i will be able to get it back soon.

Calling it a day at 60?

2008-05-05T02:58:00.000-07:00

Recently we read that CUEPACS is requesting that civil servants serve till they are 60 before they retire. As for many teachers like me, most of us will not be signing for 60. It is not that we hate teaching, we love going into class, moulding them, preparing them for exams, and most of all, we get to inspire, change and move them to do something with their lives. But, it is the daily grind of paperwork that we hate. And the endless meetings and projects to do. All these projects are unnecessary and time-consuming. Worse, they even call us back on Saturdays and holidays. Civil servants are supposed to have Saturdays off, but teachers are required to work on Saturdays and schools is given the discretion to use Saturdays to complete co-curricular activities. Teachers are tired and there is no time for self-renewal. We don't even have time for preparation of materials. Chunks of exercises and essays await us daily. I am not surprised many will opt to retire at 56.

Gems of truth

2008-05-02T05:17:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since i last wrote on this blog. I heard something worthwhile the last few days that I need to jot it down:

Bigger things don't make us happy. Happiness is not a destination.
People who are suffering from happiness destination tend to put off their happiness till they have achieved or got something...and they continue to strive even though they have finally arrived, they are still not happy.
One has to decide to be happy in one's inner being, no matter what the circumstances.

Decluttering is good therapy

2006-09-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

To continue my quest for getting organised, i decided to re-organise my storeroom. there were so many files of manuscripts of my books which have been published but i still keep them, just in case. then, there are newspapers' cuttings, advertisements, brochures, etc which i thought i might need one day. so difficult to throw but something got to be done because i am running out of space. Then, there are keepsakes like cards and letters, etc, even little gifts from my students.
i used to think that if i spent time re-organising, i would be wasting time cos there's so much to do and i still have some writing assignments to do. But i could not write either with all the clutter. I could not find anything i want and i wasted a lot of time searching. So, it was time to throw. And after doing just a quarter of it, i feel so motivated to write again.
I sorted the piles of papers into a few categories, to be read, to be filed, to throw and to do. I threw out articles and clippings that i knew i could get from the internet. It took me the whole afternoon and i filled up a lot of garbage bags. But at least my store is a bit orderly now. I found many 'lost' papers and things. And you know what, at least i have space to walk and look around. And the mosquitoes do not have a place to hide anymore. Sigh, teachers are natural hoarders. Does anyone out there have this problem too? Try decluttering a corner at a time, at least it is not so overwhelming. And it is therapeutic too. You will feel good.

10 Things I Enjoy Doing

2006-09-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

1. gardening - this is what i enjoy when i have the chance, just to be with my plants, potter around the garden. i am privileged to be surrounded with greens and flowers all my life.

2. blogging - definitely one of my favourite activity. it is cathartic, it helps record my life and most of all, helps me see things in new perspective in retrospect.
3. surfing the internet - i could surf for hours, just for ideas for my journals, or my vocation, or for my hobbies.

4. shopping with my hubby - i look forward to the relaxed mode - not particularly shopping for anything, just window-shopping, hanging out at a mall, pointing out things to one another and in no hurry to buy anything, feeling contented just to be together.,hmmmm

5. having tea with my friends - this is my 'yam cha' hour with good friends. we invite one another or we meet, fellow teachers, at our chapati corner, lament and complain, sympathise and leave feeling better.

6. furnishing an empty house - i always love arranging furniture or doing up a house. and i have had the privilege to do up more than five bungalows that i have stayed in the estates. should have been an interior decorator. but i love the challenge of doing up nooks and corners. i got rid of my swing and replace with a set of garden chairs yesterday... throw in some plants and a fountain full of guppies...eric chia's partner...

7. arranging flowers - this is one activity which will surely bring a smile to my face. i just love arranging flowers, using colourful flowers and vases. never found it a chore. once, i did ten flower arrangements for a pskpp dinner in one hour...but still smiling...

8. playing my guitar and singing all the oldies - ah, i miss this. it's been so long since my last jamming session. love playing the old love songs or pour my heartaches through songs.

9. throwing a party for friends and family - this is something i do well and something that i enjoy but i am afraid people tend to expect it all the time and i would find it a chore if i cannot keep up to my standard. once a year, i throw a few big parties and cook up a storm. i love creating the ambience, putting candles, lamps, flowers, etc. it is all a fusion of what i love to do.

10.watching a sob-sob movie
- once in a while you get this good movie and have a good cry.. for example, all-time favourite is My Stepmum.

The 7 Habits of Very Organized People

2006-09-18T08:10:00.000-07:00

I struggle with this issue all the time. I tend to be very disorganized
and I waste a lot of time searching for things.

Have you ever wondered how some people could be so very
organized, when you're struggling on a daily basis just to
get your home looking halfway presentable and to get at
least a few items checked off of your To Do list?

Most organized people follow a few simple rules. Here are
the 7 habits of very organized people.

1. They have a place for everything. Every item they have
has a consistent, assigned home. The home for books is on
the book shelf. The home for toys is in the toy room on
the toy shelves. The home for blank greeting cards is in
the greeting card organizer in the office.

2. They put things back. Whenever an item has been removed
from its assigned home, it is used for whatever reason and
then immediately returned to its home when no longer in
use. There are no temporary holding places. It's just put
back where it belongs, right away.

3. They write things down. Organized people make lists and
notes, and keep these in one consistent place such as a
planner, notebook or calendar. They don't try to remember
things in their heads. They let the pen and paper (or the
computer) work for them. They reference their lists and
notes on a daily basis. Many use the Get Organized Now!
Easy Organizer as a tool:
http://www.getorganizednow.com/ezorganizer.html

4. They don't allow papers to pile up. Papers to file are
filed each day, not left to grow into mountains. Mail is
opened over the recycle container so papers not needed
don't even have a chance to multiply. Kids permission slips
are signed right away and sent back to school with the
kids. Bills are tucked into a bill paying system until bill
paying day, and then paid bill statements are filed away
that day. Magazines are read within a week or two and then
recycled or donated.

5. They don't procrastinate. When something has to be done,
organized people schedule time to do it and then they keep
that scheduled appointment. They know that the more they
delay, the more likely deadlines will be missed or
opportunities will pass.

6. They set goals and assign deadlines. They know if they
want to get things done, they need to know exactly what
they want the end result to be, and by what date. They
review these goals often, and set aside time each day to
work on achieving them. They review what they've
accomplished and never forget to reap the rewards.

7. They only keep what they use and/or they enjoy. They
can't stand anything taking up space that doesn't have a
useful or pleasurable purpose in their lives. They're big
believers in simplicity. They breathe easier knowing
they've lightened their loads and can move easily without
having to climb over boxes and piles of clutter.

P.S. If you enjoyed these tips, get over 1,300 more quick
and simple ways to get organized! Visit:

http://www.getorganizednow.com/newbook.html

Bagaimana mendidik seorang anak cemerlang?

2006-09-18T07:57:00.000-07:00

Bagaimana mendidik seorang anak cemerlang?

Wow, my friend asked me that question since i have produced one. Well, let me share with you some great ideas.....????

1 spend time with him when he does his homework, right from the
primary school days. you need not check everything, just go through his
book once in a while. Read the newspaper or something, just to give some moral support.
2 make sure he understands that going to school is not an option; but a must.
make friends with his teachers and make sure they are on your side. ensure that your kid respect his teachers; do not talk bad about his teachers in front of him.
3 reward him when he does well but do not replace your time and love with expensive gifts. My friends tend to shower their sons with a motorbike and expensive handphones. We gave him hand-me-downs until he was older. Tell him that sometimes, we can say yes, no or wait to whatever he asks.

4 help him to plan his timetable, especially when his exam is near. encourage him to pick up the pieces and help him carry on.

5 do not nag at him but get involved. Look at his exam papers and see where
his weaknesses are. Try to get him to practise past year questions and trust him to check the answers himself. Set him a few exercises to do each night. i encourage him to keep a journal although he hardly has time towards secondary school days.
6 listen to him. give him a chance to tell you his fears and feelings. talk to him about your younger days, share your ups and downs too.
7 do not use dinner time as lecture time. make it a pleasant time to ask about school and share jokes. Make sure you switch off the tv after a certain time at night. do not allow them to watch everything. set limits or ask the kids to choose the programmes.
8 set limits and make it clear to him. when he misused the handphone, i took it back and he was not allowed to use it. do not be afraid to discipline him when he has done wrong but do not punish him out of anger.
9 pray together. we make sure we pray at least once a week together asking God to help in matters that were out of our hands.
10 respect his privacy. sometimes a little neglect is ok. get to know his close friends, invite them over but you don't need to know every single girlfriend of his or who he was calling. make sure the night curfew is on, no going out at night except for the occasional harmless birthday party in your neighbourhood.

Supermoms out there, do take some time out to add to his list. Who knows, i might publish a book, 1001 ways to produce an excellent child......